Someone Familiar

So tonight Ben let me drive his Mustang, his precious Mustang. The only reason I had the guts to ask is because he's planning on selling it.
Anyway, it was a nice ride. I didn't go too fast at first because he was really nervous letting me drive it and made sure I knew that and because I had Shanon and Kyle in the car. But on the ride back from dropping them off, Ben let me kick it up a notch. I took it to about 100mph. It's so nice to drive something that can actually accelerate enough to pass other cars up. I've got to get at least a v6!
Also, Ben had a really bad day today. Two of his kids at work keep causing problems and his supervisor isn't supporting his discipline. Therefore he offered to let me drive the 'kids' (Shanon, I know your 18 now!!) home because he, in his own words, "wanted the company of someone familiar, you know like how sometimes only a hug from me will work for you".
Oh, and he gave me another hug tonight. I'm not quite sure what to think about all this. Especially since I was day dreaming about a conversation with him that basically said that I really wish that he would disappear from my life. Every time I look at him, hear his voice or someone mention his name and I am on some level reminded of the pain of being abandoned, rejected, and betrayed.
Apparently it doesn't matter if I really feel that way or not 'cause it seems that I will always be there for him no matter what I currently think of him. Some might take that as not being 'over him', but I'm not so convinced. I feel that way towards all my ex's. If any of them knocked on my door, I'd be there them. I guess that's what you get for being in love with men. And I mean as the entire gender. Men are just that intriguing.
I met a really fine specimen today. Eddy at the coffee shop. He was beautiful. Jessy was the one to flirt with him though. Why can't I be that bold? Whatev, he turned out to be married anyway. I found the florist for my wedding. Of course I need to have a fiancé first. I came so close once. No dice. Whatev.

Today's:
High-
it's a toss up, you let me know...
a. Ben admitting that he needed me tonight
b. driving the Mustang
c. staying in bed with Shanon all day watching tv
d. Eddy, the really hot guy from the coffee shop
Low-
Getting upset for no reason...stupid thyroid medication that I'm not allowed to take for the next month.
Quote-
"If you punch a shark in the nose they don't like it."
-that was me, followed by the commercial for Mythbusters with the old lady quoting the same myth. Right, I'm an old lady. But apparently, so I heard, I haven't had a chance to experiment for myself, that myth is true.