Friendship Friday: Ben.

*Ok, so, I feel like you all must know Jessyca so well because our lives seem to intertwine so extensively right now. Anywho, I wanted all my other friends that mean so much to me to receive equal time and space on my blog, seeing as they have been as much a part of making me who I am as my younger sis has.*

I thought I would start with:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ben

http://enigmabenhew.blogspot.com/

!!!!!!!!!!!!Because Today Is His 24th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

I met Ben my Senior year of high school. I "knew of" him before that in the sense that I had seen him around school and knew that he was involved in drama.

Apparently he 'liked' me from day one. I, of course, 'liked' his best friend, Jon. That's how things go in high school. Silly love triangles all the time.

However, a friendship developed none the less. I loved him so thoroughly on the platonic level before anything romantic ever came of it. I never knew anyone could ask so many questions. I never knew anyone could inspire me to ask myself so many questions. I never knew anyone could be so annoying.

Do you have any idea how many times I had to go home to my mom or to my leaders at church to find out an answer to his questions, that became my questions most days too, about my beliefs and why they were what they were and where they were located in the Bible, etc etc etc?

Strangely, to this day, he is better at locating scripture than I am.

Truthfully, I am grateful for having someone like him enter my life. Questions need to be asked. I find myself asking those questions without his promptings nowadays...even if I do hear them in the form of his deep bass voice.

Being young and impetuous (and not knowing any better at the time) we spent a lot of our early years sneaking me off campus in the trunk of my car (per I didn't have a class but also didn't have an off-campus pass and he didn't have class either but did have an off-campus pass) to go swimming or sit the the jacuzzi or go get food, or simply take a nap on the couch in wings of the stage. After that it was a bunch of hanging out, movies, food, dancing, getting eachother through rocky relationships, setting each other up into rocky relationships...you know the general best friend type stuff.

Which is what he became. My best friend. I think we've seen more of eachother's good and bad sides than most people will know about anyone else. And somehow, we still liked each other.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson pretty much summed us up.

Our other past time was arguing, or rather, debating. We would spend hours going back and forth about random subjects. Mostly we realized that we were saying the same things but our definition of words were different. Strange that we both grew up in San Diego County but still not all of our vocabulary has the same meaning to us. Another time we discovered that he was basically debating for the existence of God and I was for the non existence of God (unintentionally of course). Something about how I wanted to date older men and that leading into a debate about the existence of time, therefore leading to the existence of God, somehow. I don't remember the exact map of that argument, but it was memorable all the same.

Ben was not a Christian when I first met him. I never really worried about him like I did other people though because there was this intense innate desire within him to seek out the truth. Not the truth he happened to be able to agree or live with, not simply the acceptable truth, but the real truth, whether he liked it or not.

Things that I admire about Ben:

*His innate desire for real truth

*His ability to be who he is not caring what other people think of him (and they have thought a few things...)

*His honesty (even when it hurts)

I never knew it was possible to love and hate someone so intensely and in the same moment, until Ben. If ever I have learned anything about what love truly is and isn't, it has been because of my relationship with him. God keeps bringing me back to this scripture:

"Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 The Message

Romance may have been a disaster between Ben and I, but it's the aftermath of a broken love that determines who you are. maybe Ben and I are too stubborn to really give it all up. More than likely it's God teaching us that love is all that He claims it is; as stated above. I may not always want to love Ben, but there will never come a day that if someone asks me if I still love him that I will answer "no".

We started as friends, we will spend eternity maintaining that friendship. I know Ben well enough that I can speak for him on this particular issue. The nature of relationships is continually changing, and that's alright. It may not be easy, in fact I can guarantee that it will be messy. But my life is better for having Ben in it. No matter what my emotions might tell me (or you) in the moment. Our involvement in eachothers lives might be more or less involved than what we expected, but he is and forever will be, my brother in Christ, my friend.

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."- George Washington

This was/is our song:

11 Just Wait.wma
Powered by Castpost

Lyrics:

If ever you are feeling like you're tired * And all your uphill struggles leave you headed downhill * If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you * And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill * I ask of you a very simple question * Did you think for one minute that you are alone * And is your suffering a privilege you share only * Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * If you think I've given up on you you're crazy * And if you think I don't love you well then you're just wrong * In time you just might take to feeling better * Time is the beauty of the road being long * I know that now you feel no consolation * But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud * I say this without fear of hesitation * I can honestly tell you that you make me proud * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * If anything I might have just said has helped you * If anything I might have just said helped you just carry on * Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle * And your appetite for pain may all but be gone * I hope for you and cannot stop at hoping * Until that smile has once again returned to your face * There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying * Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come