TGIF/Serenity

Good Morning All. Not much to say right now, just starting my day.

It is Friendship Friday, and I missed it last week, but I haven't had time to put some stuff together about my best friend Caitlin yet. Hopefully I'll have time today. Otherwise, I'm just getting caught up with school work. So much reading! "I'd be an avid reader if it weren't for school!" That's my quote, but you can use it too!

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Last night I saw a midnight showing of the movie Serenity. It's based off the Fox series Firefly, that they of course canceled (go figure Fox), created by Joss Whedon (Buffy/Angel).

The movie was awesome, I got a very large greating when I got there because my friend Jiffer was the one to set up the viewing through a friend that manages a theater and is also a fan. It was a smaller crowd, but everyone there was huge fans and even a few people dressed up as the characters. Their costumes were pretty good too! I know I sound like a huge dork right now, sci-fi nerd, but I love it and can't help it!!! No appologies here.

The ensemble cast of this show is amazing. I love to see such a great range of characters with writers and actors to match them. The dialogue is great and the chemestry and performance of all the actors brings them to life as one living entity instead individual characters. I would be extreemly blessed to work with such a group someday!

Just a few cast members:

Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Maher)

My crush.

Doctor.

Passenger.

Federal Fugitive.

He's cute.

He's a medical genious.

He's sexy.

He love's his sister!

(Go team big brother, not in the 1984 sense...)

Jayne Cobb(Adam Baldwin)

My Favorite Character.

Mercenary.

Money Hungry.

Tank Moron.

Calls 'em as he sees 'em.

I'd take him with me into war.

Most likely to commit mutany.

His guns name is 'Vera'.

Best quotes!

River Tam (Summer Glau)

Character I would want to be.

Passenger.
Federal Fugitive.

Psychic.

Assasin.

More Genious than her brother.

(Started correcting her brothers spelling when she was 3.)

Dancer.

'No power in the 'verse can stop her'.

Hoban "Wash" Washburne (Alan Tudyk)

Honorable Mention.

Pilot.

Better pilot than Han Solo.

Comedic relief.

Peacemaker.

Plays with dinosaur action figures.

The only married man on the ship.

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar"

So You Think You Can Dance

So You Think You Can Dance

Ok, so if you haven't been watching this show every week like I have,

you're forgiven.

When James Lipton, the host of 'Inside The Actor's Studio', asks his guests his famous top ten questions the second to last one is always, "What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?".

If I were to ask myself a modified version of this question;

Me: What profession other than the one you're currently studing would you like to attempt?

Myself: Dancer/Choreographer.

End Interview.

This is why I love this show.

Nick Lazzarini:

I could watch this guy dance until my 'OJOS' dried up and popped out and then I would just soak them in saline solution and watch him some more.

I know he's only 20, but I think I have a major crush on him....help!

He is absolutely beautiful. His sit spin is amazing! His lines are statuesque. He's landed every tumble. He can perform any style they throw at him...

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Major Aesthetic Eye Candy!!!!!

Dan Karaty:

Ok, as if I could stop at just one crush for the show...right. Dan, is so hot! Of course he looks short. And if you look short on the small screen? Oh well, I guess I could settle on one of my physical requests. I love the guys choreography and I love the way he deals with confrontation. (If you were watching the show you'd know about the altercation between him and Blake McGrath) As a judge, he's not affraid to speak his voice even if it's different from all the other judges. This guy is staight up amazing.

He looks like someone though and I can't place who he reminds me of...any ideas?

HNT #6

Happy HNT!!!

This is my eye...um, duh.

I happen to love my eyes.

I thought I'd share one of them with you today.

Thank You!!!

Thank you all for praying for me!!

Mel: Thanks for the reminder of my own profile!!!

I ended up having a great day.

My Speech coach and two of the girls took me to lunch and I was able to hang out and watch movies with the team after practice.

Jason has taken to acting as my brother/protector on the team and the girls have been really great in looking out for me too.

So everyone know that this new group of people in my life is treating me very well. I believe that your prayers have played a big part in that area. Besides them all being so big hearted!!!

Again, thanks, gotta go run to class now!

Craptacular Day

I am already having a craptacular day. Emotions; anger, frustration, anxiousness, nervousness, lethargy, apprehension, etc. Pray for me
Jenni-Ru

Thanks Elliott...I think..?

People wonder why I am affraid of window reflections?......

http://www.biteycastle.com/taken.htm

Weekend catch up

Soo, on FRIDAY was my first debate competition ever:
I was paired up with Allison, the only girl~girl partnership on the team. Apparently they try to veer away from f/f partners because m/m partners are seen as bulling to the f/f partners. But I think that Allison and I make it work. We hold our own, and not once did we come up against a partnership with any female member.

Our resolutions: (this only makes sense if you know anything about debate)
~ "THW (This House would) substantially change the way America responds to disaster." ~Gov.
~ "America has lost it's values." ~Neg.
~ "It is better to use a stick than a carrot" ~Neg.
~ "Men are easier to convince than women" ~Gov.

I still don't know how many of the rounds we "won" but we didn't place at all. Which curiously I am perfectly okay with. (bad grammar, but this is blogging...) Allison and I were just happy to get some experience under our belt and as Jason put it, I got a "taste for blood".

I am in love with debate. Now if I can only get my homeostasis back in order I know that I could get much better at this game. Look out Ben, JW, Kelly, Nick, Brent, Shanon-joi and any of my other argumentative friends, family members, and acquaintances...I am about to step up my game!

Side note: I wore the only suit that I have. I wore the skirt instead of the pants. Per Dewi it was a little too short but it would work for the first competition. I put on nylons. However, the responses to my wearing this suit were all the same:

* "You have really great legs!" ~Allison/Lindsay (girls on the team with me)
* "Nice." ~Jason after giving me the the up-down outside of KFC
* "You look really good. No really, if I were a few years younger I would ask for your number." ~random office type looking man outside of WallMart

So, I guess I look good in a skirt and high heels business suit.

SATURDAY:
I wasn't feeling so hot. I called in sick to my second day of competitions and stayed in bed instead. However, by that night I was feeling better, or so I thought, so when this guy asked me to go on a date with him I said yes.

He took me to a sushi bar where I had real sushi, not California rolls, for the first time. I actually liked it. The dinner part of the date was really nice.

Then came the movie part. We went to go see 'Four Brothers'. I've been looking forward to going to see this movie for awhile now. And as much as I like the guy I went out with I was not prepared to battle with him over whether or not we were going to make out during the movie. I missed part of the plot because of it.

I now remember why I don't date random guys I don't know all that well...because you never know what they are going to expect from you. *sigh* I guess dating is just not something that works for christian girls. I should know this, I do know this, I should have remembered to know this. I'm not into dating for make out sessions, so boys, don't ask if that's what you're looking for from me. Do I like kissing and cuddling, etc. Oh yeah! Who doesn't? Am I going to with you? Are we going to fondle eachother, let alopubliclylly, ummm, no.

Even my dad liked the guy after meeting him briefly before we left when he picked me up. My dad mentioned it when we drove to church the next morning. But on further review, I don't think dating will occurringing in the near future for me.

Sorry boys, but if you want to get close to me, spend some time with me and my family and friends first, then we'll talk.

SUNDAY:
Pretty chill day. Church, the kids came over for youth group, while I took another nap (still not feeling up to par yet) then a quick stop at the mall and the now Dennis' house and then home and in bed by 10pm or so. I need to get my homeostasis up to normal levels!!!

TODAY:
...just chillin', gettin' school stuff together for tomorrow and then preparing to be radio active for a few days. yeah....fun...?

(Those of you who don't know this is the last treatment in winning battle over cancer and the rest is just follow up.)

Josh

I literally just got off the phone with this guy. He was "the" guy in my high school experience. He was my bestfriend and so much more. We "tried" the whole dating (<-- I use that term loosely) thing for maybe a few months around Christmas time our Junior year, but things went down hill from there. He is now Five years married to a wonderful girl that I don't really know all that well right now, Narissa, and has a soon to be 3 year old son named Noah.

This conversation was a long time coming and I'm glad we had it because I feel so much better right now. Seriously. I guess closure may have been a big part of it, although we had both forgiven one another for our, what we once thought were "mature", actions towards one another, and in hind sight agree that we may not have been as mature as we thought we were...or still are. Lol. But he said the words that I have been desperately needing to hear. "You have alot to offer."

I guess I trust his judgement in that area more right now because where I have been questioning that is in my male, or romantic, relationships. He's the only other guy that has been in my life that can validify (if that's a real word) the truth of that statement.

Moms, sisters, fathers, and brothers: you have all been trying to say this to me, and accomplishing it, but I think I needed to hear it from someone who knew me like he did.

And boy did Josh know me! A big part of who I am today is because of this man of God. Then he may have been a boy, but he is a man now and I am proud to have been part of his defining past.

Josh: Thank you so much for everything you just said to me. Some of it is too much to share here, online, but you know what you said and what it means to me. I look forward to learning what it means to play the role of sister in Christ in your life and the life of your wife and child. Say hello to them for me!! May God bless your family always.

HNT #5

These are my polished nails from the wedding last Sunday. They were painted on Sunday, it's now HNT and the polish has already been chiping! Lame. But they were good looking hands while it lasted!

Quote of the day

I know it's early still, but this quote made me laugh (you might have to be a writer or avid reader to appreciate it though):

"We will Extract the Rhetorical Maneuvers and attempt to Justify them and if we cannot we will Condemn them!" ~Prof. Gowen quoting one of his former professors

I just realized that sounded better in the context of the classroom setting and understanding the story behind it. But I wanted to remember it, so here it lies in my blog as a future resource. . .

The Wedding

Jessyca's mom's wedding:
What a crazy day!
A good day!
A confusing day.
Mixed feelings for me.
Extreemly happy feelings for Ma'J and Papa J!!!!!
I don't know where to begin.
Ma'J was gorgeous!
Papa J looked sharp!
D'Moor did an amazing job on hair!
Mary is an artist with make up!
The food was great! (except my tummy was being weird so I didn't really get to pig out like I wanted to)
The DJ was great! (lot's of fun dancing, I kept trying to leave the dance floor but the next song just had tobe danced to!!!!)
I had to walk into the reception on my own because my groomsman escort was MIA. (I hated it, but had to suck it up and be the strong independant woman, whatev.)
Ben was annoying. (Not purposefully, but he kept calling me with q's, and of course he looked really good, and basically ignored me during the reception) (I wasn't really very friendly either though so I can't blame it all on him)
I loved dancing with all my boys. (That's you Johnny, Elloit, and Chris!)
All in all though, it was a hit, a beautiful wedding!
And a lot of fun too!!
Jessyca and I are going to crash on the couches tonight.
That's it, I know it's not much, but I'm sooooo tired!
Love you all...

Friendship Friday: Ben.

*Ok, so, I feel like you all must know Jessyca so well because our lives seem to intertwine so extensively right now. Anywho, I wanted all my other friends that mean so much to me to receive equal time and space on my blog, seeing as they have been as much a part of making me who I am as my younger sis has.*

I thought I would start with:

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Ben

http://enigmabenhew.blogspot.com/

!!!!!!!!!!!!Because Today Is His 24th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

I met Ben my Senior year of high school. I "knew of" him before that in the sense that I had seen him around school and knew that he was involved in drama.

Apparently he 'liked' me from day one. I, of course, 'liked' his best friend, Jon. That's how things go in high school. Silly love triangles all the time.

However, a friendship developed none the less. I loved him so thoroughly on the platonic level before anything romantic ever came of it. I never knew anyone could ask so many questions. I never knew anyone could inspire me to ask myself so many questions. I never knew anyone could be so annoying.

Do you have any idea how many times I had to go home to my mom or to my leaders at church to find out an answer to his questions, that became my questions most days too, about my beliefs and why they were what they were and where they were located in the Bible, etc etc etc?

Strangely, to this day, he is better at locating scripture than I am.

Truthfully, I am grateful for having someone like him enter my life. Questions need to be asked. I find myself asking those questions without his promptings nowadays...even if I do hear them in the form of his deep bass voice.

Being young and impetuous (and not knowing any better at the time) we spent a lot of our early years sneaking me off campus in the trunk of my car (per I didn't have a class but also didn't have an off-campus pass and he didn't have class either but did have an off-campus pass) to go swimming or sit the the jacuzzi or go get food, or simply take a nap on the couch in wings of the stage. After that it was a bunch of hanging out, movies, food, dancing, getting eachother through rocky relationships, setting each other up into rocky relationships...you know the general best friend type stuff.

Which is what he became. My best friend. I think we've seen more of eachother's good and bad sides than most people will know about anyone else. And somehow, we still liked each other.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson pretty much summed us up.

Our other past time was arguing, or rather, debating. We would spend hours going back and forth about random subjects. Mostly we realized that we were saying the same things but our definition of words were different. Strange that we both grew up in San Diego County but still not all of our vocabulary has the same meaning to us. Another time we discovered that he was basically debating for the existence of God and I was for the non existence of God (unintentionally of course). Something about how I wanted to date older men and that leading into a debate about the existence of time, therefore leading to the existence of God, somehow. I don't remember the exact map of that argument, but it was memorable all the same.

Ben was not a Christian when I first met him. I never really worried about him like I did other people though because there was this intense innate desire within him to seek out the truth. Not the truth he happened to be able to agree or live with, not simply the acceptable truth, but the real truth, whether he liked it or not.

Things that I admire about Ben:

*His innate desire for real truth

*His ability to be who he is not caring what other people think of him (and they have thought a few things...)

*His honesty (even when it hurts)

I never knew it was possible to love and hate someone so intensely and in the same moment, until Ben. If ever I have learned anything about what love truly is and isn't, it has been because of my relationship with him. God keeps bringing me back to this scripture:

"Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 The Message

Romance may have been a disaster between Ben and I, but it's the aftermath of a broken love that determines who you are. maybe Ben and I are too stubborn to really give it all up. More than likely it's God teaching us that love is all that He claims it is; as stated above. I may not always want to love Ben, but there will never come a day that if someone asks me if I still love him that I will answer "no".

We started as friends, we will spend eternity maintaining that friendship. I know Ben well enough that I can speak for him on this particular issue. The nature of relationships is continually changing, and that's alright. It may not be easy, in fact I can guarantee that it will be messy. But my life is better for having Ben in it. No matter what my emotions might tell me (or you) in the moment. Our involvement in eachothers lives might be more or less involved than what we expected, but he is and forever will be, my brother in Christ, my friend.

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."- George Washington

This was/is our song:

11 Just Wait.wma
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Lyrics:

If ever you are feeling like you're tired * And all your uphill struggles leave you headed downhill * If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you * And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill * I ask of you a very simple question * Did you think for one minute that you are alone * And is your suffering a privilege you share only * Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * If you think I've given up on you you're crazy * And if you think I don't love you well then you're just wrong * In time you just might take to feeling better * Time is the beauty of the road being long * I know that now you feel no consolation * But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud * I say this without fear of hesitation * I can honestly tell you that you make me proud * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * If anything I might have just said has helped you * If anything I might have just said helped you just carry on * Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle * And your appetite for pain may all but be gone * I hope for you and cannot stop at hoping * Until that smile has once again returned to your face * There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying * Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come * Just wait * Just wait * Just wait * And it will come

Last Minute Thoughts Before Crawling Into Bed

Ummm, ok, if you've never spent a day at the spa, female or male, you need to. A spa mani/pedi, a 1/2 hour message, and a full hour facial...geez. I will never be the same again! No joke. Thanks Mom you're awesome for paying for it all and making it happen!!

Second, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown...I'm sorry, I can't ever watch you again. You almost killed my spa buzz. What's with all the yelling and the making a spectical of yourself and Whitney, didn't you used to have some class?!?!?! I don't understand, I could barely walk down the hall to Jessyca's bedroom, I felt drunk with stupidity, or the awe of stupidity. I know I just wrote an entire entry earlier today about reserving judgement, and I know I don't know you, but that was all on tape, and you were in a public place acting like that...I don't get it. I at least hope that you are truely happy, 'cause I would have headaches 24x7 if I lived like that.

Two more days to the wedding. Right on, good deal! I can't wait. Even if I don't have a date and my ex is gonna be there. Who cares, it's time to party! Ma'J is getting married, whoooooohooooooo!!!!!!!

Oh, and Ben Happy 24th birthday...ummm...today I guess, it's late/early enough to actually say that.

Todays Compliment:

Hey Jenni

called you the other day..it's been a long time I know....sorry..I have no good excuse for not calling you. But I would love to have a heart to heart with you one of these days....the liberals of california are killing me...would love to speak with some one who I know is on the same page as me....if nothing else as friends to help keep me sane. not to sound political but I think of of you every time I find myself in a debate....hope all is well, take care and God Bless....

-Scott

*Reading this today made me feel really good about myself. Thanks Scott, just wanted everyone to know what a good friend you are, can't wait to talk to you soon!!!

Reserve All Judgement

“. . . I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men.” ~ Nick from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald



Ok, Many of you who know that my cats name is Gatsby might assume that I know that book inside and out. The truth is I haven’t read it since Jr year of high school. I picked it up today to re-read it. And what did I find in the third paragraph of the first page?...none other than the quote I listed. Why do I find it so fascinating? It was highlighted in my book already and because this is exactly who I am and how I have chosen to live and the consequences of that choice. “Reserve judgment” are the exact two workds that I use when describing how I respond to meeting knew people. I don’t like to decide upon what kind of person I am dealing with based on first impressions. I tend to stand back and watch and listen before I formulate in my mind who the person is and their motivation behind it. The truth is, most people pick up on this right away, whether or not they realize it. Consequently people tend to open up to me and share things with me that they might not be comfortable talking to their bestfreind about. I am privy to the secret griefs of many. Maybe I would make a good politician. Excepting that I would never betray that trust to use it to my advantage or even the advantage of others. That and I hate politicians, I love statesmen; one who exercises political leadership wisely and without narrow partisanship (Merr/Web online). Anywho, I thought it interesting that you never know how much what you read might stick with you…

HNT #4

Here it is, my one and only tattoo. I got it on my 21st birthday. The rosebud is white and the characters are Korean for faith, hope, and love. I drew the characters myself, so that's my personal artwork there. I don't draw roses all that well so I left it up to the tattoo artist. I do not regret getting the tattoo, but occassionally wish I had gotten it a little smaller. Otherwise, I love it. Again, here it is, my beautiful tattoo (which, btw, is hard to take a picture of yourself when it's located on your lower left back...)

I'm Sorry...

Everyday I think of things as they happen that I should post on my blog, so that all my blogger buddies can be in on the happenings of my day. You know, quotes of the day, funny things that I see, my high’s and low’s, stories, etc. But then, by the time I get home it is sometimes too late or I am too exhausted to want to type anything up. It sucks, ‘cause some of it is pretty good stuff. But by the time I get to blogging again a few days later, I don’t remember what I was going to say.

*So this is me, saying, I’m sorry, for being too tired to type and let you know what paradigm shift I am on for everyday of my life. That and I will never see that day again and can now never relive it again either, all because I was too tired. Story of my summer…geez.*

On to today…and not too much of it ‘cause once again, I am tired.

Jason, from speech and debate: He is technically a student, but also assistant coach.
He also is mildly attractive to me. Not in a way that I can’t focus or I have to get all gussied up over or anything. But definitely that my eyes drift towards him occasionally and my ears pick out his voice above everyone else. I think mostly I’m curious. He’s very different in one sense of what I am usually attracted to. Physically, he’s not athletic at all. But he does have dark hair. He’s not overly tall, but he is taller than me. He dresses like a greaser. You know, The Outsiders, 1950’s kinda look. I definitely like that. However he is an extremely intelligent, well spoken, speed talking, confident, arrogant, observant, well informed, smoking, independent, younger man (by 5 years).
Tuesday through Thursday I am completely enthralled by his personality and what it is that I might like or dislike about the guy. Then by the weekend I’m on to other things. But then Tuesday must roll around again. Not to mention that I will be seeing much more of him on weekends once competitions start.
So what’s my point in bringing all of this up?
You will be hearing about this guy. I will consider posting a pic of him. But that might be weird ‘cause what if he eventually finds my blog and reads this and doesn’t want his pic on here…let alone sees that I am posting about him.
I think at this point I am simply intrigued by the guy, and I want to know why.
So, over the next year, I will be trying to figure it out.

What I did over the weekend:
Saturday~I spent the day at Disneyland all expenses paid by my longest standing friend and her husband, Lisa and Nathaniel. Pics tobe posted.
Sunday~Church, pivotPoint (youth meeting), and hung out at Jessyca’s
Monday~slept in,
took Johnny shopping for a shirt for the wedding,
went to Guitar Center, found the guitar I want that I will only let myself by if I actually start practicing,
Johnny found his $3,000 keyboard there too, then took a nap at my house (after unloading a bunch of food and supplies for the Rehearsal Dinner at my house this weekend),
and then on to Jessyca’s house to spend the night,
read some of my Eng 202 homework,
watched The Outsiders and then slept to be awoken by Kia and her kisses,
interviewed Jessyca for my Eng 202 paper and then off to start my…

Tuesday…I was at school all day,
except for the small ‘sebatical’ to get my 2nd spray on tan for the wedding and make a pit stop at home to eat food (a Marie Callendar’s microwave chicken pot pie),
met with my counselor and found out I won’t be ready to transfer to SDSU until the spring of 2007,
napped in my car (and also made a few phone calls),
debate team stuff (see above for fascination with Jason),
came home and read a few things from the Korean newspaper,
Next Wave (youth pivotPoint leadership meeting) where my tummy was upset about the mash potoatoes and corn and broccoli that I ate for dinner),
talked on the phone with Jessyca,
posted on my blog.

Ok, I feel a little better now that you know my life in the most boring sense…I’ll get more creative as time fly’s by…I am going to be a film maker, I have to be more entertaining than this.

HNT #3

Shanon's dad took this picture of me and then Jess photoshoped it for me. Looks cool huh?!

(Notice Jess, I am all set for going out, pink pumps and jeans...

yeah, can't go wrong there!)

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On another note.

This is the pic that I gave to Ben as a going away gift in a black frame/matt.

On the matt I wrote in silver sharpie:

"There is a part of me that will always miss you. The corner of my mind that still hears the benefit of your voice. Maintian a firm grasp...Our Lord is about to accelerate you through time. I am honored to have played my role in the man that you are becoming. I am proud of all that I have already seen you do. Here's to catching you on the flipside."

1 Corinthians 13

"Time is the beauty of the road being long"

"I hope for you and cannot stop at hoping"

"There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying"

~Blues Travelers
Hopefully I didn't sound too sappy, but what do you say to the guy who has been your bestfriend and first love and everything in between, when he moves away?

I decided to stick to the truth, that's what always worked for us.

Why Wednesday

Why;
~won't my sound work?
~don't I have an audio device on my computor?
~do I have to reinstall everything?
~is my internet being slow?
~am I not hungry today?
~do I not have any money in my account?
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~do I give driving lessons to other drivers, including myself, while driving?
~was I chasing the sun down today?
~did the sun win?
~did Jessyca not meet me at the beach?
~didn't her phone ring when I called her?
~was I driving 30 miles out of my way to get to her house?
~am I not a professional dancer?
~is my paper not finished yet?

Ok, I'm done with the Why Wednesday...it sounds too much like I'm whining. I'm trying not to whine anymore.

This guy, Adrine, talked to me today after our CINE 125 class. He's really cool. He knows more about the technical side of film and I know more about the directoral side. I kinda hope we get put on the same team. He seems like he would be fun to work with. Anyway, when we parted ways we went for the handshake but then he initiated a hug, saying something about being a hugger or something. But not wierd, totally sincere, it was really sweet. Made my day. In fact that was my HIGH for the day.
My LOW was missing the sunset. I tried to hard to get there before, but the marine layer out there on the horizon hid the sunset from my view, Lame.

That's it today, I'm tired, I'm going home, I want to sleep next to my kitty.

Another Mundane Tuesday

http://www.claybennett.com/pages/great_debate.html

Today was a day full of school and home.

No, seriously, with one, one errand in between:

7:10am~Write for Eng 202 class and Print doc

8:25am~Drive to school

9:00am~Sit through Eng 202 class

10:45am~Drive back home

11:15am~Cook and Eat lunch

12:00pm~Nap

1:00pm~Attempt to start and finish impromptu 3x5 cards

2:15pm~Drive back to school, I'm already late

2:30pm~Sit through Speech/Debate

4:25pm~Leave early/Drive back home

4:45pm~Call seamstress

5:00pm~Drive to seamstress and get dress altered

5:15pm~Watch "Beautiful People"

6:30pm~Drive to meet Debate Team for dinner at Panera Bread

8:00pm~Drive to team members house for practice

8:15pm~Debate

10:00pm~Arrive home to post here

See, school and home and a lot of driving everywhere. This is not conserving my gas or my pocketbook. Oh well, can't change today, I'll change the future instead.

<--today's soundtrack:

He's amazing, really. And hot. But that is beside the point. Actually, is he hot because he's amazing or amazing because he's hot? Hmmm, what makes a man...errrr...person attractive?

Also, he's difficult to sing with when you don't know all the words yet, he's difficult to sing with when you do sometimes too. Who knew people can sing that fast and still be singing...wow. Like I said, amazing.

"Jason, will you be my date to Ma'J's wedding?"

I really like my debate team. They are a great group of people and I think getting to know them this year will be pretty interesting. I use that word because in any group drama eventually forms, although, so far we don't see any. Which is a good sign.

I debated tonight for the first time ever. Well not ever, Ben and I have been debating for 8 years, but this was my first formal debate.

today's compliment: "Oh my God! Hell yea!!" ~Asst Student Coach, Jason in reference to just watching four novice debaters fight it out for the first time.

It felt really good to get the first attempt out of the way. Now I don't feel so self-conscious and I know I can do this, 'cause well, I just did. I might even be good at it. I look forward to honing my debating skills. All you that like to debate/argue with me, look out, I'm about to get way better!!!!

"This is the written account of Adam's Line"~Gen 5:1

The other day I went onto my friend Adam's web-log-page. Simply because it's not part of blogger so I don't visit it regularly and he had given me the link when he first started it. So I was reading through it and came across a few posts about me...

"I also had a very long and interesting conversation with Jenni, imo the best conversation we've had online, i think i finally broached a subject she was mildly interested in, morality of this world and how Christianity comes into play." ~ July 25th, 2005 (Hate on Mondays)

"So i introduced Jenni to Robot Chicken, and, weirdly enough, started feeling uncomfortable about christian-specific humour, ie: the Noah's Arc sketch about "God hates freaks". I don't really know where the concern is coming from, but mainly i don't know what i should do about it - - and i think that's what i'm really thinking about.
An Adam from 3 years ago would take Jenni under his wing as a pet project to explore the wonderful world of atheism - - now, i'd rather just not worry or think about it and let her do her thing, i wonder if that's from maturity or laziness? Hrm. Continues on with my current theme of anti-drama, so i'm not complaining." ~ Just plain ole' Thursday Friday July 29, 2005

"My d&d game is finally working in my head, and i've decided to let go of jenni & her brother, in the end it's the simplest solution for me. The game has a plan and direction now, so it will be reconvening soon." ~ Lazy/Busy Wednesday August 24, 2005

Adam:
I've quoted you here because your thoughts are now public domain. I'm also going to leave a link so people can check my accuracy and see you from your own perspective too. As a friend you deserve that. I'm posting about this because I'm not quite sure how I feel or how I think I should feel about these posts, so I'm exploring. When I first read them I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that you would let me know on your own that my bro and I have been let go from the game, but so far that hasn't happened. Still, no hard feelings here, it just would be nice to be told up front, not from a post.
http://www.xyrth.com/me/

So, yea. What do I think about this? Truth is I'm not sure. Initial reaction didn't feel so hot, emotionally I mean. It never feels good to find out that you have been excluded from something. Granted it's just a game, but it's a game I enjoy playing and something that I can connect with my brother on. However, I also recognize that he and I are the outsiders of the group, so it does make sense that we would be the ones to go. Without going into detail, there's been quite a bit of drama in this particular circle, and I played a very small part in it. And Adam, as stated wants to avoid drama.
The atheism thing? Wow, I dunno what to say. People really think that they can deter me from believing in a loving God that has always without a doubt been there for me. To go from understanding that I was created with a purpose in mind to thinking that I just simply exist for no reason. Honestly, who would want to switch over to that belief? The only benefit that I can see from it would be that a person could then live a life in which they no longer have to answer for. That might be compelling to some, but not me.
Am I living my life in a way that I'm making an impact and making people think about what they believe and if it's truely the right/correct belief? I dunno, I don't think there is enough evidence here to come to that kind of conlusion. I am not one to force people to accept what I know to be real simply because I say so, but my hope would be that they would want to find out for themselves before continuing on with there lives as is.

A Be'GRUDGING' Knock Out

Ok, last night I watched "The Grudge" with Chris, L'J, Ben, and Jessyca...it was great. L'J and I were the only two in the group to have seen it, but were still scared anyway. At one point in time we looked like the shot from "Signs" were everyone is on top of the car and each person is touching the next person in the line up.
Later...I was laying on Jessyca's stomach, 'cause we were scared, and my head was vertical, and Kai decided it would be a great idea if she jumped up on the couch arm rest right at a pivotal scary moment, Jessyca screamed, convulsed in reaction, nailed me in the head with her knee, I felt by brain wobble inside my head, black out, white in, a second to put together what just happened, and then, "owwwwwww, you just knocked me out!"...
Yea...I was knocked out by Jessyca. I can now say that my dad has choked me out, my pastor stuck her finger up my nose, and my sister knocked me out.

My Friday

I spent today running around doing errands:
~bought Gatsby more of his special diet food from the vet
~visited with Jessyca and Kai at Petco
~got my eyebrows waxed
~went hunting for shoe laces (I'm fixing up the crew t-shirts J. got us from the DMB concert)
~decided I had to go to the Dickies Outlet
~took the long way 'cause I wanted to drive a bit and listen to my cd...singing...
~found the right color for Jessyca's shirt, but not mine, hod to switch to a different kind of shoelace for my t-shirt
~stopped at the tanning salon to see how much it would cost to get rid of my weird Mexico tan lines for Ma'J's wedding
~finally stopped back at home for a quick nap and to feed Gatsby (he was way hungry)
~left for Ma'J's bridal shower...
~at the bridal shower...
If you've never been to one, it's kinda scary and kinda fun all at once. It's fun 'cause hey, we get to embarrass the bride about the honeymoon night and make her open gifts with lingerie, lotions, bath stuff, whatev, and eat yummy food (I got my fill of buffalo wings yea!), and the boring part, play lame games. Although, somehow Jessyca and I both got out right away when playing musical chairs. I blame the trickiness of the song, it had rests in the music that kept psyching you out that the music was being stopped, I think Jess blames the girls for pushing her down to the ground...yea, it can get pretty rough at these things. The scary part, one day...us single girls...will have to have one of these parties thrown for us. JW says she's never getting married just to avoid it. I'd like to elope to avoid it, but that probably would make things even worse.
~Then back home to sleep, early day tomorrow, 45 minute drive at 7am to get my hair done and help Jessyca and Mom find thier dresses for the wedding

<-- Sound track for the day: Which was amazing that I could listen to the whole cd and sing it and enjoy it!!! It has a story...it was a gift from an ex. And our song is track # 11 'Just Wait'. Amazingly, I had absolutely no problem singing that particular track. In fact, I want to learn to play it on the guitar, it's really a beautiful song. (BTW, he's finally moved. And I think I'm handling it quite well.)


Quote of the day: "If you're going through hell, keep going."~ Winston Churchill

HNT #2

Ok, so about a month ago, I opened my front door onto my toe. How you do that I'm not exactly sure, but it hurt. In fact, I'm pretty sure I used a choice explative when I did it. God forgive me. So when we got back from Mexico (apparently it happened before we went to Mexico) and Mom and I decided to get mani/pedi cures I decided I wanted french paint on my toes. But that didn't cover the bruise I still had, so we tried adding a flower on top of it for cover. But now, as Mel said, the bruise looks like it's the leaves to the flower....kind of I guess...Maybe when you're looking at my toe from up above and far away...not so much when I out my foot on the bed and take a picture of it...this just goes to prove though that ever since grade school I have always had some kind of cut or bruise or sunburn or something, healing on my body at any given time. Hey, that's just the kinda girl I am.